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Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah (Read 3228 times)
Elsie
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Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Mar 28th, 2008, 5:19pm
 
I am attending the bat mitzvah of a good friend's daughter in May.  It is an afternoon affair in Northern NJ, immediately following the service.  What would you wear?  A dress?  A suit?  How fancy?
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Andilee
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #1 - Mar 28th, 2008, 5:28pm
 
I'd go with pretty fancy.  We're having an afternoon party and I'd like it to be as fancy as an evening affair.  Also, I would think it would be uncomfortable to dance in a suit.  For my DD's, I'll probably wear a suit or dress to shul and a cocktail dress to the party.
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donethat
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #2 - Mar 28th, 2008, 5:59pm
 
I think that you could wear a suit and be totally appropriate.  My afternoon party turned out suits, sundresses, pants, and everyone looked great in Northern NJ.
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FairfieldcountyMom
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #3 - Mar 28th, 2008, 6:19pm
 
I do not wear the same to afternoon as I do for evening parties.  I do like dresses or fun skirts with dressy top to dance in though. There are fun flirty suits and business suits. I'd avoid a straight cut business type suit and do a fun one with a swirly skirt if you like suits.
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PABMboy
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #4 - Mar 28th, 2008, 6:50pm
 
I would either wear a dress or a suit that I could later take the jacket off and dance with just the top and skirt (ie tank top).
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NJBatMitzvahMom
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #5 - Mar 28th, 2008, 6:54pm
 
As the hostess of an afternoon Bat Mitzvah in May in Northern NJ  Smiley I suggest a fancy dress.  I would suggest avoiding black (although I'm sure plenty of people will be wearing black) and floor-length (ie, black tie-ish).  Our party will be as fancy as a non-black tie evening party.
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DS's Bar Mitzvah 4/27/13--what an amazing day!
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Elsie
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #6 - Mar 28th, 2008, 7:32pm
 
NJmom, Interesting you said that about no black.  I was considering wearing a gorgeous dress I bought for an evening affair last year.  It is to the knee, short sleeve with an interesting neckline, and it it is sort of crochet dress (not heavy looking) over a black tank dress.  Close fitting and beautiful.  Not ok?
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NJBatMitzvahMom
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #7 - Mar 28th, 2008, 7:52pm
 
It sounds beautiful.

When I went shopping for my dress, I purposely avoided black.  BM is May 31--after Memorial Day--and I wanted a lighter color.  Black is such a classic, people wear it year round, and I'm sure you wouldn't be the only one to wear black.

What do others think about black for a Saturday afternoon post-Memorial Day affair?
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DS's Bar Mitzvah 4/27/13--what an amazing day!
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mom23
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #8 - Mar 28th, 2008, 9:05pm
 
My son's BM was in July of '06 - we had an afternoon party at an elegant restaurant - we had cocktails outdoors,veranda, etc - beautiful setting. I wore a black skirt and top - very hard to describe the skirt - black,crepe layers, (a little bit hippie inspired), but not in the fabric,of course, with pewter tiny beads embroidered all over the lower half - I love it and wish I could wear it for the next one - this coming Sept.!
I wore it with a black dressy knit top with black sheer cap sleeves. Lucite and black toed sandals.....
I think black is fine any time - it all depends on the overall look - it can be made more or less formal by fabric,style and jewelry!
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yomamma2bat
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #9 - Mar 29th, 2008, 2:21am
 
If you are having an afternoon affair and want the guests to dress as if evening dressy, then I do think your invitation should make some statement as to the expectation of the dress, since in our area, its expected that the aft. BMs are suits, and more casual dress then evening. Mostly short dresses, with occcadional flower skirs with jackets but certainly not a dressy floor length dress.
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Spring/06: A Blip in time!!!OMG That was more than Awesome!Speachless
Spring/08: Did that really happen? Proud mamma!
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isithereyet
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #10 - Mar 29th, 2008, 9:55am
 
I agree, unless it is the culture in your area to dress up for an afternoon party, you need to specify that.  Around here, it is pretty much straight Temple clothes for an afternoon party.
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smjab
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #11 - Mar 29th, 2008, 9:56am
 
When I am invited to a BM immediately after services I generally think to wear a suit or daytime dress. However, I have been invited to several SUNDAY afternoon parties that were dressy(cocktail).  To me it seems different because of Saturday AM services. OK but now that I think of it. I wear dressy to a Havdallah service for a party following. Hmm. best to ask the hostess what she expects.
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mom23
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #12 - Mar 29th, 2008, 10:07am
 
So sorry for not realizing it was not YOUR affair.
I agree - I think most people dress a bit less formally for an afternoon occasion. Most people at ours wore suits or pretty skirts and tops.....I did the same, but made the fabrics and accessories dressier, as the mom of the BM!
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Andilee
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #13 - Mar 29th, 2008, 3:57pm
 
So, if I want people to be more dressed up, and in a party mood, how do I tactfully get them to do that?  It's awkward, since they're coming from shul.  I have to admit that I'm not in as much of a dancing mood if I'm wearing a suit.  It just seems hot, unless I'm wearing a sleeveless top underneath.
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Bergencomom
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #14 - Mar 29th, 2008, 7:03pm
 
I am wearing a very elegant, dressy black suit for DD's BMV, it's a Sunday afternoon event. I am wearing a light pink tank underneath the jacket, doubt I'll take the jacket off, though, worried about large upper arms.
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4-6-08...exceeded my expectations!!
I am in denial about the next one DS 11-?-10
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Andilee
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #15 - Mar 29th, 2008, 7:28pm
 
Pardon my ignorance, but what's BMV? Bar Mitavah or something else?  While we're at it, is DD, DS, etc. dear, darling or something else?
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FairfieldcountyMom
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #16 - Mar 29th, 2008, 11:02pm
 
So many people wear black to afternoon events, it is fine. Wear what you love.
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Bergencomom
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #17 - Mar 29th, 2008, 11:16pm
 
Andilee wrote on Mar 29th, 2008, 7:28pm:
Pardon my ignorance, but what's BMV? While we're at it, is DD, DS, etc. dear, darling or something else?


BMV= Bar/Bat Mitzvah
DD= Dear Dtr
DS= Dear Son
DH= Dear Husband
BF= Best Friend
MIL Mother-in- law
etc... Dear is also interchangeable for Darling
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4-6-08...exceeded my expectations!!
I am in denial about the next one DS 11-?-10
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yomamma2bat
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #18 - Mar 29th, 2008, 11:25pm
 
well perhaps you could include a dress code insert, I believe some people have done that, especially if you have a good deal of non Jewish people.  You could include in the insert a few basic rules such as no video or photo or cell phones during service(if thats true) attire: women's shoulders must be covered during service suggestions: bolero, shawl, jacket but please recommended attire: dancing attire or party attire .  I'm really bad at wording but perhaps something like that could be in an insert; eloquent mavens please help???
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Spring/06: A Blip in time!!!OMG That was more than Awesome!Speachless
Spring/08: Did that really happen? Proud mamma!
Thanx Mavens for all your support
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vegan_in_vegas
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Re: Attire for afternoon bat mitzvah
Reply #19 - Apr 1st, 2008, 8:22pm
 
Bergencomom wrote on Mar 29th, 2008, 7:03pm:
...worried about large upper arms.

Hey, here I thought I was the only one with bubbie arms!  Wink
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