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food choice wording on RSVP (Read 4264 times)
sjmom
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food choice wording on RSVP
Jun 06th, 2004, 10:02pm
 
We are having a kiddush luncheon and an evening party on Sat. night.  I need to know the number attending both. I also have to give the caterer #'s for food choices but I am unsure how to write it out since the kids will not be given a food choice.  Is this too wordy any suggestions will be greatly appreciated Mitzvah mavens.

Is it appropriate to write
reply date
Name(s)
Number attending kiddush luncheon
Number attending evening celebration

Adult choice of dinner entree
Chicken
Fish


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momZilla
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #1 - Jun 6th, 2004, 11:30pm
 
Your sample is pretty close to what I had used.  The wording on my daughter's reply card had "number attending services" and "number attending reception."  
I didn't ask in advance about the entree choices because I had been advised that it was tacky.  Does your caterer require the exact number of chicken or fish in advance?   Most of them only need to know how many people are coming, and have extra food on hand for last minute changes anyway.
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TechMom
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #2 - Jun 6th, 2004, 11:38pm
 
My son got an invitation that said just that:

Choice for adult entree:
___ Steak   ___ Fish

Of course, my son replied and checked "steak" & put a smiley face - but the mom panicked and called me...  I assured her that he was just teasing!

Good luck!
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sjmom
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #3 - Jun 7th, 2004, 12:09am
 
I grew up in NY and the caterers there do not require an exact count for meals they can figure it out more or less.  All the caterers I went to in the Boston area expects an exact count. I think it is tacky too but I don't have much of a choice unless I don't have two entree choices. I guess thats why I am concerned about the wording.
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momZilla
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #4 - Jun 7th, 2004, 10:37am
 
In that case the wording on the card TechMom's son received sounds good to me.   Guess it's no longer tacky if everyone has to do it.  Old etiquette books used to say that pre-stamped repsonse cards were tacky.  When was the last time someone did NOT include one with an invite lol?
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queensmom
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #5 - Jun 7th, 2004, 4:05pm
 
The way my brother avoided giving choices on his response cards for his son's BM was to service surf and turf (salmon and slice steak) as the main entree.  Most people eat on or the other or both.
Queensmom
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #6 - Jun 7th, 2004, 8:33pm
 
I've just come across this website and am glad to know I'm not the only one trying to get the response card wording correct!  I would greatly appreciate any input regarding the following.  At our club, not only am I required to give an exact count by entree choice, but I also need to give a specific name which can then be put on a placecard.  (They want to be able to serve without having to inquire about the guests' choice).   Would something like this be incredibly tacky and/or confusing?

         Response date
         Name
         Please indicate each individual's luncheon choice
                Salmon __________________________
                Chicken _________________________
                Children's Buffet _______________


Thanks for your thoughts!
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TechMom
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #7 - Jun 7th, 2004, 9:21pm
 
At a party I recently atended, you picked up your place card and I noticed that the names were in 2 colors.  So it might say Mr & Mrs Jones - and the words "Mr" "&" "Jones" were blue, but "Mrs" was red.  Then when we sat down, everyone was asked to put their placecard on the table in front of them - well, it turns out that everyone in Red got the meat, and everyone in Blue got the fish - exactly so the servers wouldn't have to ask.  Very clever!

However, on the invitation, it just asked to choose what was wanted, so I suppose the hostess had to call everyone where there was a couple who had both checked to see who wanted what...   (I almost think that's better than making the response card too complicated, though...)
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sjmom
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #8 - Jun 7th, 2004, 11:01pm
 
The scary part is that I don't usually remember myself what I write down as an entree choice when I fill out these cards weeks in advance.  Now that I am having my own BM I understand all the effort to try and get it right.  My caterer gave me a form to list all guests names and food choices so I guess I will fill it out as best I can.  If it is a couple and there is two choices and each picked one then they can change plates.  I can't see calling each person about dinner choices. I do like the idea of the blue and red place cards but I have already planned to make up tickets so I will have to figure out something else.
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TechMom
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #9 - Jun 8th, 2004, 12:02am
 
Actually, these were on tickets - it was a sports theme.
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TechMom
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #10 - Jun 8th, 2004, 12:10am
 
Opps - meant to also say that the tickets were mounted - maybe a thin foamcore? - & had something on the back to make them stand up - a little metal thing - so they weren't lying flat.  They were easy to see for the server and also looked nice on the table where we picked them up.
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momZilla
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #11 - Jun 8th, 2004, 10:28am
 
Come to think of it, caterers around here (NJ) are starting to require pre-selected choices, also.  A wedding I attended last August (non-Jewish if that makes a difference) had entree requests on the response card and who requested what. I don't recall the exact wording.  But I do remember that each person, rather than each couple, had a place card, that we were required to set on the table in front of us, and on the back of each was a sticker -- a tiny picture of a chicken, fish or tomato, representing the entree choice (the tomato was the vegetarian meal).
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Blivie
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #12 - Jun 14th, 2004, 10:27pm
 
For our RSVP invitattions, we wrote the following (approx.:

"Please elect from the following entress:
______ Chicken etc...
______ Fish, etc......

Guests 16 and under will enjoy a special buffet."


We ALSO have a similar RSVP for our out-of-town guests joining us for Friday night dinner.


We preferred to offer choices rather than buffet for everyone or one set entree.  It does get pretty tricky.
We'll be sending out our invitations in about 2 weeks and I'm anxious to see how guests respond......... Cheesy
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elizabeth
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #13 - Jun 15th, 2004, 2:03am
 
Hmmm... I did not ask what the cut-off age is for the kids' buffet.  Is age 16 standard or does it vary?
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #14 - Jun 15th, 2004, 10:52am
 
Blivie,

Thanks for sharing your response card wording.  You have given me a few extra hours of sleep with that problem solved! 8)  I especially like the way you handled the children's buffet; obsolves the opportunity for the odd youth to request a big ol' adult sized entree!

Elizabeth,

I have not seen anything about the standard age to offer adult entree versus kids' buffet.  Might be a good question for your caterer.  I think I will probably go with age 18 as the few guests I will have in that group will be sitting with other kids.  I think it would get too awkward having some go to the buffet and some being served.  

I will also have a few guests who are vegetarians.  Do most hosts just call the guests in that case?  There aren't really enough to put a separate line on the response card.

Thx all.
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Sheri_In_SD
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #15 - Jun 15th, 2004, 4:45pm
 
I seem to be in the minority feeling that the children should eat as well as the adults.  I'm really tired of the children's buffets where they get fried, non-nutritious dinner fare.  At my first daughter's BM we gave the children the same choice as the adults: Salmon, Roast Beef or a Vegetarian Pasta.  The kids appreciated the dinner as well.  I feel certainly by 13 they should enjoy a good meal like adults.  How ironic that a BM is celebrating the approach of adulthood and yet at the party we relegate the children to children's food.  

My next daughter's BM is in May05.  While the food will be different (we are having a buffet of international food), the children will also partake of the same food as adults.  The difference in the price is minimal especially when you are considering the cost of the entire affair.  

Maybe I'm just the only one who is tired of hearing from my kids how awful the food they were served was at the various BMs they attend.
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Blivie
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #16 - Jun 15th, 2004, 11:07pm
 
When we asked our daughter if she wanted her friends to choose from the entree options or have their own buffet, she preferred the buffet....all kids are different and have different tastes.  Our caterer specified 16 as the cut-off for younger guests.
We hav a Vegetarian Option as well on our response form; our caterer said there would be no problem preparing a few vegetarian meals.
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ADHDMom
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #17 - Jun 16th, 2004, 5:39am
 
I say "amen" to feeding kids better food. My daughter hates the usual buffet. She has fairly sophisticated taste in food and is so sick of chicken fingers, ziti, et al. (On the other hand, I think the kids always get the better dessert!) However, I do understand that it could be prohibitively expensive to feed a full adult-style meal to a large number of kids. Maybe the answer is just to demand better and more imaginative fare for the kids buffet.

Age 16 is mighty old to be sharing the kids buffet. My son would have been mortified to be sitting with the 12 and 13-year olds kids by the time he was 15 or so. By that age, most teens are civilized enough to be sitting with the adults, conversing appropriately and sharing the normal menu. The only exception would be if there was an entire table of older teens, such as the friends of an older sibling of the B'nai Mitzvah, but even then I would feed them "real" food.
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Andi
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #18 - Jun 17th, 2004, 2:19pm
 
I also gave my son the option of kids' buffet or adult entree-he chose the buffet, saying that most of his friends prefer it (and cost was not a consideration, because the kids can get the adult entree at half price- less than the cost of the buffet!!) My 16 year old daughter was also given a choice of either for herself and the couple of friends she is inviting- she, too, wants the buffet... I guess my kids just don't have sophisticated taste yet  Smiley
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redwinemom
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Re: food choice wording on RSVP
Reply #19 - Jun 18th, 2004, 12:11pm
 
At our first event (2 yrs ago), we had 8 high schoolers at a separate table. They received the adult meals --- which 6 of them only picked at, then got up and went to get food from the kids buffet.
This time we have 16 high schoolers -- and becasue of our previous experience, we will still have them at two separate round tables, and ONLY serve them buffet .
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